How to Co-Parent Effectively After a Divorce

Going through a divorce is challenging within itself, and adding children to the equation definitely makes the transition more difficult. Figuring out how to split child custody, schedule visitations, and emotionally support your child(ren) through the divorce process are daunting tasks. Studies reveal that divorces involving children are the most difficult ones to handle, and they can affect children for years, if co-parenting is not handled properly. Effective co-parenting is critical when going through a divorce. Here are three ways to effectively co-parent after a divorce:

  1. Set aside any personal issues you have with your ex. Leave the past behind you and refrain from speaking negatively about your former spouse to your child(ren). Make every effort to remain positive during this transition for the child’s sake. Their well-being should be of utmost importance to you. Speaking ill about your former husband/wife does nothing to ease the pain of a divorce. Again, please do not vent to your child about the shortcomings of your ex.
  1. Have open and honest communication with your former spouse and child(ren). Clearly communicate with your ex about co-parenting expectations. If you are used to having your child(ren) on a certain sleep, medicine, or homework schedule, make sure your ex understands the importance of the routine and try to get on the same page.  However, also keep in mind that your ex may not do things exactly how you do so try and remain flexible to avoid constant conflict.  Also, communicate with your child(ren) and make sure they obey rules, just as they would with any other parent.
  1. Lastly, co-parent as a team, meaning making important decisions together. Consult one another regarding important milestones and issues concerning your child(ren). Just because you’re newly single does not mean you are a single parent. It is easier to include one another in making critical decisions than to just make them on your own.

In closing, your marriage may be over, but your family is not. Understand you are still valued in your child’s life, no matter the circumstance. A divorce is the termination of your marriage…not your relationship with your child(ren).Through forgiveness and eradicating negative energy towards your ex, and practicing clear communication, you are exhibiting ways of effective co-parenting after a divorce. 

If you’re going through a child custody dispute, you will want to know the laws and how judgments about your child will be made. An excellent way to learn about child custody laws is to reach out to a family lawyer so that they can explain the laws and represent your interests.

If you live in Bergen County, New Jersey, and are facing a child custody dispute, to learn more, ask questions, and seek advice, you can call the BURKE WILLIAMS, LLC family law office at (201) 497-8700. We’d love to talk.


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