Three Ways to Avoid a Bitter Divorce

For most people, when they think of a divorce, there is a connotation associated with bitterness. It could be due to the various images portrayed in movies, on television shows, and even in some books. Others will convince you that all marriages have to end disastrously just because their divorce may have ended that way. This doesn’t have to be your story, however. As Bergen County and Monmouth County New Jersey divorce lawyer and family lawyers, we have witnessed ways to avoid an acrimonious divorce, which are touched on below.

Plan For The Future

Before the divorce process begins, I often suggest you consider sitting down with your spouse and figure out important details for the future. Have an honest conversation about your expectations and plans for the children (if you have children). If you share properties, this needs to be part of the discussion also – as well as joint accounts, listing your belongings, and other pertinent information that will be needed for the divorce process. With some divorces, couples do not have a solid plan in place, and this often results in their divorce ending in bitterness. Through openly communicating with each other and having solid plans for the future, you will greatly avoid experiencing a bitter divorce and be able to move on with your life freely.

Move Forward

Instead of remaining stuck in the past and wondering what “could’ve, should’ve, or would’ve” happened, take steps to move forward with your life. You may no longer be married to the person you thought you’d be with forever. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You could be one step closer to remarrying the person you are destined to be with forever – but you won’t reach that person if you are still bitter about your divorce. Accept what happened while acknowledging the pain caused from the divorce. Process your emotions, but don’t become crippled by them. Also, joining a support group, meeting with a licensed therapist, and/or speaking to trusted friends and family could also help you move forward.


No matter who was ultimately responsible for the dissolvence of your marriage, be cognizant of sincerely practicing forgiveness.Work on truly forgiving your former spouse in order to achieve true happiness. In order to forgive, you have to first acknowledge the hurt, then accept that it happened, and lastly, analyze the importance of letting go. By holding on to past hurts, you will realize that it does not serve you. The person responsible for wrongdoing is more than likely living their life unapologetically, while you’re still angry and bitter. Once you let go of the past, you will find that your spirit feels lighter, things will move positively in your favor, and you will naturally become a better person. Letting go of all the resentment will also help you to move forward in life.

In conclusion, contrary to popular belief, there are ways to avoid being part of a bitter divorce process. Not every divorce has to end with each other disliking each other. By openly communicating with your spouse to plan for the future, moving forward, and practicing forgiveness, you can experience a divorce that does not end in acrimony.


This article contains general information and opinions from Burke Williams Law and is not intended to be a source of legal advice for any purpose. No reader of this article should act or refrain from acting on the basis of information included in this article without seeking legal advice of counsel. Burke Williams Law expressly disclaims all liability with respect to actions taken or not taken based on any content in this article.